Fight the Smoligarchy…?

Dusting off a dormant series with a little Lemon Pledge

Photo by Keiron Crasktellanos on Unsplash

Wait–what? I could’ve sworn the phrase was “fight the oligarchy.”

It is. But here in the Hoosier State, we do things differently. This series is no exception.

So, grab your coffee or your Dr Pepper and let’s talk about smoligarchs who bankroll Indiana politics.

First, what is a smoligarch?

In short, ‘smoligarch’ is a term coined by HoosLeft host, Scott Aaron Rogers. And as I resurrect and slightly rebrand this series, I feel it’s worth clarifying what it means since Indiana’s political class benefits from collective confusion.

The word is a mashup. Smol is internet slang for something small and, ideally, cute. While oligarchs refers to a small number of elite individuals or groups who consolidate political power through wealth. Ergo, smoligarchs are wealthy elites who appear harmless—right up until democracy bends around their checkbooks, that is.

Our smoligarchs may not have Elon Musk’s money, but they’ve got more than enough to carve out little fiefdoms of their own where they write checks, host fundraisers, and pick winners. And because they operate largely at the state level, they do so with far less scrutiny. So what kind of money are we talkin’ ‘bout? Well, as Chris Rock said…

I’m not talkin’ ‘bout rich, I’m talkin’ ‘bout wealthy.

So, when trying to understand the difference between a smoligarch and just another rich a$$hole, remember this, dear reader: Birch Evan Bayh IV’s multi-millionaire family is rich. The Simon family, worth roughly $11.6 billion and funding the young Bayh, is wealthy. In politics, that discrepancy is the difference between participation and control.

*Enter: Fight the Smoligarchy*

While I am a registered Democrat, I want to be fully transparent: I am not a “vote blue no matter who” Democrat. I am the mom of two small children, the wife of a hard-working mechanic, a full-time student on scholarships, and a homeowner in an area that just learned our drinking water will be sacrificed to cool a Meta data center.

I say all of this so you understand where I am coming from and why I am an equal-opportunist who will unapologetically cover smoligarchs from either side of the aisle. Class divides don’t disappear just because the party label is the same. Politicians from both sides benefit when we look left and right for the source of our problems instead of looking up.

And I cannot afford to delude myself into believing that some rich a$$hole knows what it feels like to struggle. To sit on the floor of the closet and cry because you can’t pay a $200 bill and put money into your kid’s school lunch account (don’t even get me started on the exorbitant transaction fee on MyLunchBucks; TLDR…it’s robbery).

But if the people we elect to represent us do not know what the struggle even looks like, how can they possibly identify REAL solutions?

Hoosiers are good, kind-hearted people who value honest work. All we want is to buy a home, go to a job that pays our bills, send our kids to good public schools, buy groceries with a debit card (not a credit card), and maybe, just maybe, be able to afford to go out to dinner or the movies once in a while. It doesn’t feel like an unreasonable request.

Your conservative co-worker did not raise your rent. Your kid’s schoolteacher who voted for Clinton isn’t why your AES bill is suddenly unaffordable. The immigrant newcomer to your community isn’t the reason you spent $300 at Walmart and walked out with only two bags. And your non-binary neighbor merely existing is not what’s wrong with the world today.

The real problem? Money in politics.

The purpose of this series is to loudly call out the smoligarchs who wine, dine, and pocket-line our politicians. To identify the wealthy elites and corporations who control our politics and ultimately our lives. This series exists because I’m tired of nepo-babies and wealthy a$$holes buying politicians who wouldn’t last a week living the material conditions of the working-class people they claim to represent.

Simply put, this series exists so we can fight the smoligarchy.

Together. In solidarity.